Sperm Donors!

This is why my ex still does not pay child support! I never had the money in any other states to hire a lawyer to do this for me, but now in Indiana they make it so easy. You give them a $25 money order(which is in my desk drawer) and fill out the paperwork (which is also all filled out in my desk drawer) then you give it to a caseworker at the Prosecutor's Office (which requires a drive downtown, they are not in my desk drawer) and they process everything for me. I am so scared of driving downtown, and they require no kids with me at the time of the visit. That is impossible for a stay at home mother of 4, 2 of which are still at home. David's mother is ill and can't do it, that leaves me only Wednesdays to do this. I always have good intentions, but I would have to leave before the girls get on the bus, which I hate and leave the other two with Daddy, on his only sleep in day of the week. It is only once, and he is more than happy, but I still don't manage to do it. I hate this. Their father owes the girls and myself this support. Besides that, he still gets the right to the girls as his children, yet David is the one supporting and raising them.
This just ticks me off, and hurts me because I can't imagine anyone not loving these two wonderful lil girls as much as I do. I love them so much and can't figure out why he doesn't care enough to send the money without my pushing. He has paid child support twice. It didn't keep up. Now he has another child on the way, and he told this child's mother that my sister was his sister, but didn't mention anything about how they were related or the girls to her. Apparently he has taken the pictures of them off the wall, because when my sister explained to her that not only was she not his sister, the only connection to him was these two lil girls, she knew nothing about them. I am so outraged by this. He is such a lump of horse poo I don't know how else to express it. I really wish and hope that he just falls off the face of the earth and I no longer have to think about it. Then atleast I would get a dead parent support from his Social Security paid, and he couldn't keep from supporting them any longer. Some would say wait, what about the grief and loss your children would feel. Well, believe you me, it is nothing compared to the grief they feel because the man they loved and felt so secure in, has nothing to do with them, and won't do anything to support them so their mother can afford to send them on visits. Not that I want them to visit him, I am sure with a new gf comes the fact that she is able to drive and now they have access to a vehicle again, so I am sure he is Driving Drunk on a regular basis again. Maybe he will learn from his mistakes soon. My rant is through for today, sorry to be so blatent and have hatred when speaking of him, but he has hurt my children, and that gets nothing but hatred from me.

Close to Perfect!

Life is how it should be. The babysitting kids were gone by 6:30 and supper was on the table by 6:45. We sat down as a family to the table and ate dinner with a fire blazing in the fireplace. When we were done with dinner it was cleared from the table and cleaned up. As the girls finished the job I hopped upstairs and ran a tub for the babies. I dumped the babies in the tub and spent time playing with them as I bathed them, then out of the tub and to the changing table I took Jilli to get her ready for bed as the older girls ran more water and jumped in with Mel. The babies were out and ready for bed by 8 and the bigger girls are heading off to bed at 8:45. It is great to have things work as planned and run smooth. It makes life easier, and it happens only 5% of the time, but oh when it does life is bliss. Then comes the reality that Mel is now trying to sweep the carpet with the broom and messing all sorts of things up while trying to fall down the stairs. The girls are extending their wake time by taking forever brushing and rebrushing their hair, and reading over my shoulder as I type this. It worked well for a while though. My lil Jilli is still good for momma, she has drifted off to sleep while watching Monday night football with her daddy. Ahh, life is still bliss in all this activity. I enjoy the daily interactions of my children and am so happy to finally have things so good. We have worked so hard for this and now it all falls into place. Now to just keep it in place while the world spins around us.
So many people in today's world don't know this feeling. Too many families are caught up in the rat race that is the world we live in. Whether they are just trying to make ends meet or trying to give their kids a better life, or just trying to line their pockets and fill their lives with material needs. I feel sorry for them, to not know this peace and harmony that we have found. Of course we have no money in the savings for vacation, and only are able to manage a bit for the kids for college fund, but we have what is necessary. Not to mention we get so much back at tax time we can afford a trip home each summer to visit my mother, and tickets for the train a couple times a year for her to visit us. I might complain sometimes but we really don't have it that bad. My husband doesn't feel like he does enough, but currently he is supporting this lifestyle on his paycheck, as I have not received any pay from the daycare as of yet. Not bad in this day and age.
We could have things so much worse, so I have to thank God everyday that He has made all this possible for us, and given us wonderful healthy children to boot. I am just feeling very thankful today as I see how close to perfect we are doing.

Separate from that I have found some interesting things online today that are noteworthy. For those of you Myspacers there is this wonderfully funny man on there and YouTube. The myspace page is www.myspace.com/markday , he is hilarious. He is slightly political and somewhat sarcastic, but all funny and he makes some very good observations of our political system from the point of view of an outsider looking in, as he was raised in Scotland. Give it a look and leave a comment, or rate his videos.

For the moms out there I have found and interesting website www.cafemom.com it is a moms site to share parenting stories and advise as well as resources. It is a great resource and interesting to see other points of view.

Then something I just found 4 months ago, but love so much it is www.freecycle.org . It is a great resource for recycling and keeping things out of the landfill as well as getting rid of used things that really aren't used up. I like to do the kids clothes this way, usually they go to someone that can really use them.

So check my site picks, and let me know what you think about them.

Vegas and everything else!

A day without spit up. That is all I am asking for, but alas it will be months before I actually get that. I guess I should have realized when I started this stage all over again that it was going to be gruesome.
I love my daughter, I really do. I just wish somedays she puked and ate more. There is never a lack of giggling though. She giggles and coos like a pro, and with that has her momma wrapped around her tiny lil fingers. I am so happy she is so happy.
As for DD#3 I am happy to report we are getting her to sleep easier these days. DH thinks that she had a nightmare about losing me and has aquired some attachment anxiety from it. I am not sure, I just think she is a kid coming off of an ear and sinus infection and she has had a bit more pain than usual. In any case, she has slept well for two nights now, I am so glad.
DH was on the computer all day looking at all things Vegas. WooHoo! DH and I will finally be taking our well deserved honeymoon. The first time around we had just had DD#3, Mel, so she was only 3 mo old at the time. I couldn't leave her to take a honeymoon. Then our first anniversary this summer, well I was 38 weeks pregnant will Jilli so that was out. We have finally decided this coming February we are going to take our much deserved honeymoon and it is going to be in Vegas. I don't really care where it is to be quite honest. I just want some time alone with my husband, that I can devote to him and I. I spend my days tending the needs of these children, and other people's children, I have little left when it comes to his needs. Now I will be able to devote an entire week to him, well save the times I am pumping my breast milk, and pining for the children back home with Nanny.....LOL! It will be great!
The older girls had an over night last night, that was nice. Mel fell asleep early and Jilli went down easily too. It was a nice change for DH and I to spend an entire night together. Now we just have to get through birthday and holiday season coming up...lol! We will be spending a couple of night with tons of girls about. Anyway, everyone is down for the night, and I have talked about our goings on, so I think I am going to sign off for the night! Farewell friends! See you soon!

Sleep, I need Sleep!

I know I knew what I was in for before I had my 4th child, but it is not her stopping my sleep. DD#3 has never had problems sleeping, she was sleeping through the night at 5 weeks old. She has always gone down for her naps and her bedtime when it is time, but for four days now she has rebelled. Tonight she learned how to get out of her crib. I put the video camera in there to watch her, and sure enough she is slipping over the side. Lil Houdini is what DH is calling her. She hurt herself though, so what do I do. Do I just keep putting her back to bed and hoping she won't hurt herself too badly, or do I let her roam the house as I drowse off on the couch. I think I am going to have to get her a toddler bed, but then she won't go to sleep when she is supposed to or she will wake her baby sister while crying. I am just so warn down this week. I just put her down in her bed, and she finally fell asleep without knocking on her bedroom door. I just don't know what to do. I am guessing atleast with a toddler bed I could leave her in her room and she could get back into her own bed. I don't have the strength to deal with another rebeller, I thought I had atleast a break with her since she always went to sleep so nicely. Atleast DD#4 is getting really close to sleeping through the night now.
She is completely out, I better get myself into bed then. Get my sleep while I can. Wish me luck!

Yeah so like every other diary I have ever had, there are sparse times. I promise to get better, really. So much has happened in a year. Am I the busiest person on earth? Probably just the most unorganized in reality.
So from where I left off. DD #1 did fantastically as a 1st grader and started this year in the 2nd. She is exceding and still a favorite of her teachers. I still don't know when exactly she grew up on me but I see my baby giving way to an amazing little girl. I can't tell you how hard yet wonderful it is to see them grow. I just now realize exactly how important it is to enjoy the clingy times. By the time they hit this age they are very rarely clingy and all I want is to hold her sometimes.
Then there is DD#2. She is a big girl, started all day Kindergarten this year, wow. I can't believe it is already happening. She to is thriving in school and loved by many. She does very well, but her learning is much different than her older sister. She is great. She though, is a bit more of trouble....lol! She can't sit still as well as DD#1, but I think she will work her way in easily enough. When DD#1 started Kindergarten we had just moved to this new place and she was still a bit off foot. She got her footing. Well DD#2 started off with stable footing, so she is much more secure. Thank goodness she still needs tons of mommy time though. Clingy is not completely gone yet, yea!
The baby is not a baby anymore. DD#3 is now a strong and independent 19 mo old. She is amazing and crazy. She loves to make us laugh. She does this by laughing, dancing, singing, and sometimes intentionally falling. She is so smart just like the girls always were as babies. I can't believe how much they all have in common, yet they are completely different girls. That brings me to the newest arrival.\
That's right, you guessed it. I found out I was pregnant about this time last year. So on July 5 of this year we had DD#4, another girl. She is beautiful. She has captured the hearts of each of us, especially DD#3. I am being so careful to remember everything as this is the last one for DH and I. I had my tubes tied after her. She is wonderful, but each time I finish something up it is a bit of bittersweet. I am getting ready to wrap up all of her 0-3 mo clothes as she is growing out of them already. I will be sending them on to a friend. This is my last time with all these outfits, some of which have lasted through all four girls.
I am just glad to have a friend to send them on to.
So now, DH and I have found a wonderful house finally. It has space for all of us, and even has space for childcare. That's right, I quit the job I had held for the entirety of adult life and started my own childcare business. As I have delved into it, it has become a passion for me. It is amazing how much we can give as child care professionals to the children we care for. I am essentially doing the job of the parent in their place. So now I have finally gotten one son. He is a cute and happy 2 yo that loves to play with the babies. He is a good kid. I worry about him though, his mom is young, split from her husband, and spends a bit too much time on herself these days. It is a big change for him and his older brother.
Anyway, life is great, even when it is busy and hectic and crazy. I always love it, and would never change a bit of it. I am so happy, happy to me. Happy to have the friends that I have from years gone by, and happy to have made new ones, but always remembering everyone. I have such a huge capacity for love.