agh, okay so I have not been so constant!

See this is the same problem I have always had with my many journals, or diaries. I stick with it a couple times then the in between times get longer and longer. So here I found my way back again. I am really hoping I will have a good reason for not posting tomorrow. I am hoping to have this baby today. I will be hoping to have this baby today everyday now until I have her. I am just so ready to see her, and to hold her, but mostly I am looking forward to seeing David hold her. I have never been with a man as loving as him, and I just am hoping for that moment that I never got with my first two, when I see there father look at them with so much love. Not that Maia and Maddie's father was so horrible, wait he is pretty bad but, he didn't really know how to love. He was never loved as a child. He actually felt hated. Because of that he never held them in that way. He never had the gleam in his eye that I looked for. I never completely understood until later, how he could not have that gleam, because to me they were the most perfect miracles I could have ever had. I am getting equally excited about the arrival of my third and final chapter to the child rearing stage of my life.
I am sad to think I will never feel all this joy again, but at the same time, I am glad to not have all the pain with it. I am glad to finally have a wonderful man to share all this with. David is so wonderful, and I love him very much.
Oh I just had my second contraction, and it was 45 minutes after my last one. Oh yes I have a way to go before hospital time, but it should be sometime today, I hope. Cross your fingers for me and wish me luck.
Signing off, need to get some things done before I go!