Sperm Donors!

This is why my ex still does not pay child support! I never had the money in any other states to hire a lawyer to do this for me, but now in Indiana they make it so easy. You give them a $25 money order(which is in my desk drawer) and fill out the paperwork (which is also all filled out in my desk drawer) then you give it to a caseworker at the Prosecutor's Office (which requires a drive downtown, they are not in my desk drawer) and they process everything for me. I am so scared of driving downtown, and they require no kids with me at the time of the visit. That is impossible for a stay at home mother of 4, 2 of which are still at home. David's mother is ill and can't do it, that leaves me only Wednesdays to do this. I always have good intentions, but I would have to leave before the girls get on the bus, which I hate and leave the other two with Daddy, on his only sleep in day of the week. It is only once, and he is more than happy, but I still don't manage to do it. I hate this. Their father owes the girls and myself this support. Besides that, he still gets the right to the girls as his children, yet David is the one supporting and raising them.
This just ticks me off, and hurts me because I can't imagine anyone not loving these two wonderful lil girls as much as I do. I love them so much and can't figure out why he doesn't care enough to send the money without my pushing. He has paid child support twice. It didn't keep up. Now he has another child on the way, and he told this child's mother that my sister was his sister, but didn't mention anything about how they were related or the girls to her. Apparently he has taken the pictures of them off the wall, because when my sister explained to her that not only was she not his sister, the only connection to him was these two lil girls, she knew nothing about them. I am so outraged by this. He is such a lump of horse poo I don't know how else to express it. I really wish and hope that he just falls off the face of the earth and I no longer have to think about it. Then atleast I would get a dead parent support from his Social Security paid, and he couldn't keep from supporting them any longer. Some would say wait, what about the grief and loss your children would feel. Well, believe you me, it is nothing compared to the grief they feel because the man they loved and felt so secure in, has nothing to do with them, and won't do anything to support them so their mother can afford to send them on visits. Not that I want them to visit him, I am sure with a new gf comes the fact that she is able to drive and now they have access to a vehicle again, so I am sure he is Driving Drunk on a regular basis again. Maybe he will learn from his mistakes soon. My rant is through for today, sorry to be so blatent and have hatred when speaking of him, but he has hurt my children, and that gets nothing but hatred from me.