My political thoughts and feelings!

It's been a while since my last post. Man have I been busy. I have had so much going on lately that I haven't even had time to scratch my butt and sniff my fingers...lol! Anyway, I am here tonight because I have been putting alot of thought in to the upcoming primaries and elections. I am a staunch Republican and want and need a strong conservative. I have seen all the Republicans and feel that most of them are too liberal to run the country the way I and many others feel it needs to be run. I have finally put my hat on one candidate, and the winner is.......drum roll......Fred Thompson. This man is intelligent, conservative, intellectual, and downright straight forward. He is a simple kind of candidate and he hasn't worried about hiding anything or getting into the slam fest of the others. He is a great man, with a great political mind and I feel the ability to lead our nation to greatness and security. I love his platform and what he stands for. I have been to his website and signed up to do my part to help Fred and be a friend of Fred. I would encourage all of you to do the same. www.fred08.com Check him out! He is definitely the right man for the job!

Okay so here I go again!

Well it is January 2, and of course I missed New Year's Day, but I think I can still use the same resolutions from last year, as none of them happened. They will this year though, because I am just as determined as last year. Ahhhhh! I breathed my sigh of relief so I will check that one off. I am just going to bullet point them so it is easy to ready, and completely boring as well, but heck we all know my friends don't come here to read anything interesting.

• Lose Weight, I have too. I want to be here for a future with my kids.
• Keep a cleaner house. Notice I didn't say a clean house...lol!
• Get my kids to quit running up and down the stairs.
• Go on a much needed honeymoon with my DH(hahaha, yeah right)
• Read 6 books, oh I would love it!
• Be the best mom I can be!
• Make my husband just as important in my life as my children!

I think I can accomplish some of these, most anyway.

Not today of course because I blew my diet already.

See you later!

Sorry, Computer problems!

Okay so with two computers in the house you would think we are never without online access, right? Wrong. It just so happens that both computers had fan issues shortly after I last signed on and posted. Anyway, with the hectic time of year, holidays, girls birthday parties, and the such, we took a while getting to the computer. It just so happened that it was not a big deal to be without it. I am kinda glad it was gone, because now I have gained some perspective on how it ruled my life. I may not be on as much, but I will be here, I promise!
Merry Christmas, I hope it was great for everyone. Our's was nice. My mom is here for Christmas, and she also visited my older brother that lives in Ohio. She will be here a couple more days into the new year and then head back in time to get to my lil brother for his birthday on January 3. I am so glad to be able to have her here. It is stressful because she and DH clash a bit but we make due. She has a tendency to put her hatred for my father on the men in my life. Oh well, we get over it.
I am doing the whole New Year's Eve party for the kids here tonight so it should be interesting. I hope it is tons of fun! Hope you all have a wonderful New Year, I will be talking to all of you next year.

Been a Few!

Well it has been a few days since I was in. I know, I don't want to start ignoring my adoring fans again...lol! Well it has been busy, I decided it was finally time to get some things unpacked and put away since we have been here for three months now. Not only that, but the girls had their 8, and 6 birthday parties this weekend. They are getting so big, and we did an overnight with 10 lil girls, screaming lil girls. Oh boy!
It was great, except one girl decided to pick up my 20 mo old and carry her down the stairs. They got down two steps and slid the rest of the way on their butts, and a couple at the end head over heals. My baby had a scraped nose, and the other lil girl had a bruised thigh. We were okay besides that. Thank my God, He did it. I am so happy it was all okay. Other than that, the party was a smashing success and all attendees went home very happy with my skills at homemade pizza making and cake making and decorating. I did it all from scratch per the requests of my girls. It saved us a bundle too, and I realized that I can make pizza from scratch very quickly, it was great.
Aren't I becoming quite the domestic engineer. What happened? I remember swearing off children and marriage in high school and now only a mear 13 years later I have been married twice and had four children. OMGoodness, has it really been 13 years since I graduated? Yep it has. So all of you high school chums reading up on my post, hahaha, it has been that long for you as well! Aren't we getting old. I still feel young at heart though, but my legs feel it at the end of the day.
I had better sign off, the babies are out, and I am dead tired with only getting 3 hours of sleep a night for four nights. I need more tonight...lol!

I'm BAack!

Okay, so I found this book when I went to the library. I didn't know I was going to like it so much. The book was not my type, but apparently the shhh quiet in the library, is not the case these days. There were like five people talking rudely, loud, in front of the videos. I am guessing those not able to read can't see the signs, so they stand in front of the videos and talk to each other about which ones they like since they can't read the books. I am sorry, guess I am judging these people and I shouldn't but they ticked me off. I could barely comprehend what the novels were about when looking due to their loud talking. I found one called "Cover the Butter". It really is an awesome story. It is about a woman that lives her life and lets you in to her head from her early teens to the present time. All the twists and turns, love and hurt. If you want to look it up it is by Carrie Kabak.
With all the reading I was not online nearly as much. I cleaned and toiled, fed my kids, and read my book. When DH was home we chatted and shared. Yes I still got stressed at times, yes I still got upset, but I was much more level headed about dealing with those things. I was less stressed that usual and I was able to control my temper much better. Could it be that all this time I have had nothing to help relieve stress and that was compounded because I wasn't able to read as much after I had children as I was before I had children. I don't know! What I do know is that I have always enjoyed reading and it is very relaxing and therapeutic to me. It is wonderful. I will be posting more good info since, I am planning a trip back to the library tomorrow. We have all finished all our books and are in need of replacements.

In other news, my two oldest children are coming up on birthdays this coming weekend and the week after that. I will be the proud mother of an 8 year old, and a 6 year old. AHHH, and they want a sleepover party, together. We are talking 10 little girls all night long. I feel so sorry for my DH. He wants to get a hotel, but we haven't got the money to do that, with birthdays and Christmas and all. I think I will send him to his mother's house, or to his BFF's house for the night. Then he won't have to deal with it, then he can just sneak in for bed and not be bothered by all the noise. Anyway, should be great fun. We are making home made pizza, having cake and ice cream as well as playing twister, singing and dancing, and doing hair and nails. It proves to be wonderful fun.

I only have one website for you today. It is a friend and networking site for bookreaders. It is interesting and worth looking at, www.shelfari.com . Check it out.

Ahh, Clean feels so good!

I can't say enough about cleaning up my house. When the house is all cleaned up and I have spent about 4 hours making it look, smell, and feel clean I get such a sense of satisfaction. I really feel tremendous afterward. Then comes the family. The girls get home, Melody wakes up, and DH arrives home from work. Then all is trashed and I get such a down feeling. I just want to scream. Pick up your crap! So is it better to leave the house messy and not get all ticked when they mess it up, or should I just learn to deal and push them to be better?

I love having all the laundry cleaned and put away, but seriously with the amount I have, if I let it slip just one day without a load I can fall seriously behind. At times it takes as long as three or four weeks to get caught back up. It is nice that I directly can limit the amount of laundry I have simply by boycotting buying any clothes for myself. Oh wait, that isn't a boycott, I just don't have the time or money with all the buying for others.

Then on to flat surfaces. UGH! I can't say much more, even when my house is clean, smelling, feeling, and looking, doesn't mean that the flat surfaces are cleared. Take my mantel for instance, currently it has all the crap that my decorating challenged DH thinks looks good there, in addition to the name plaque he hasn't hung outside yet, and the Hannah Montana wig that Maddie keeps playing with when she shouldn't. I just wanted my unity candle from our wedding ceremony there, and a bible and a nice crystal candy jar, that's it, but no, clutter is better. Of course he is not the one doing the dusting so he thinks it is grand. The trash is calling for his things soon. On to the breakfast bar in the kitchen. Well forget it, everytime I get it clear it gets cluttered immediately. With either mail, pictures the girls have made, the girls homework from the week, mail, miscellaneous pieces of paper towel, large sums of bread(DH is a bread man, go figure), or mail. Did I mention mail? Yeah, it is a mess.

AHHHH! But it does not matter because in the past four hours I have cleaned all that up, and no one will be home for atleast an hour, so I am happy for an hour. That's enough for me.

Life is not always perfect!

Yeah, so we all know it. Life is not always perfect and I am not any exception to that rule. DH and I have been looking for a house for over two years. We hit all sorts of stumbling blocks. First we had the money and the credit and couldn't get an offer accepted. Then we hit some financial troubles, go figure. Family of 5 at the time and the girls dad has never paid child support. Kansas is not so good at enforcing the child support issue. He doesn't even have to skip jobs to get away from it. If I don't qualify for state aid, and I never did, then they don't take it directly out of their checks without a near murder threat. But I digress. We had to spend our nest egg for purchase on other things, bills for new baby. Then when we finally get our tax refund and get things taken care of, then we find a small snag that caused his credit rating to drop and now we don't have the credit. With the empending birth of our fourth child, we realize we have to do something drastic or we will be a family of 6 living in a two bedroom apartment. Well our credit is finally back up, but you guessed it, we paid bills with the money to get our credit score back up. So now we have moved into a house that we are renting because we can't live in a two bedroom apartment anymore. In doing this we decided that we could not pay all the bills if we had to pay my entire salary a month on childcare and fuel costs for my commute to and from work minus maybe $300 if we are lucky that we could spend on bills. I have always wanted to do childcare so I decided to bite the big one and quit my job to stay at home and be a mom and a childcare provider. Now certain parts of the city are abundent with childcare providers and others are not. In the richer areas, the parents have traded off staying home with children to both work corporate jobs and attain the American Dream. These areas are rich with children, but not childcare providers. We do not live in one of these sections. We live in an area with more moderate homes, like ours, where mothers have chosen to stay home with their families, hence not as much need for childcare providers. To top that off, given the state of the economy, and the keepin up with the Jones' mind set of this stupid state, most of those stay at home moms have had to take on a few kids here and there to make ends meet so they don't have to go back to work. So not only are there less kids to be cared for, but also more providers available for those needing care. Hence my problem, only one child I provide care for, and that is only in the afternoons after school for two hours. That makes for a small paycheck, and unfortunately, not enough to pay the mounting bills. Then to top it all off, I have two birthdays this month, and Christmas coming, and I don't even know how I am going to do that as we are extremely pinched to pay bills. I have a tiny weency bit in the savings, but it is not enough for all of that. I have a few bits of clothes purchased for the girls, but I still haven't gotten Santa gifts, and I have bought nothing for the younger two yet. I am banging my head against the wall. Now I am not without experience, so I could get a job, but I don't want to work all that much, since it would have to be in the evenings and weekends when the girls are home and David is not working. I don't want to give up all my time with the girls to pay for their Christmas. I also don't want to have to give up on DH's vacation with me this following year, and we have not even begun to pay for that yet. Taxes will come in before and that should pay for it, but they will not be here in time for Christmas. I can decorate beautiful cakes, but I don't have a liscense, hence I can't get a job at a good paying bakery because they will go with a liscensed decorator because they have the proven skill and I don't. My experience and the fact that I managed a bakery for three years will mean nothing to them. I don't want to go to a grocery store to do it, they won't pay enough and they will schedule me too much.
I guess I just needed to get it all off my chest because I won't talk to DH about it. He is already positive he is a no good provider because he can't provide for 4 children and a wife all on his own. Not many people can, and we do pretty well with what we have got. I just don't want him to feel like he is not doing enough, because he does more than enough, going to a job where he is emotionally abused each day, just to provide for us. He has gotten a few other offers, but none of them can offer the salary he is getting so he won't take them, even though I have urged him to. I just don't know what to do.
Please, I am asking for prayers from all of you. Pray for God's will to prevail and shine through, whatever it may be. I pray for guidance daily and try to wait for his response on all decisions. I just can't bear the thought of not providing everything for my dear wonderful girls. They have been through so much since I left their biological father, I want them to be so happy.
I just wish Santa would come thru on his own! Too bad!